and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
