we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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