i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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