i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
