you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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