let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize