But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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