They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize