Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
