I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
