I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Panties = found
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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