now i know why i became what i already was.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
