I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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