i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
