thus making me awesome and them whores
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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