Grow some girl-balls and come out already
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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