Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize