The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
