You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Green mimosas i think yes
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
