I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
