If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
