Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
