Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
