He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
