my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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