when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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