Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
