Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
