im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
