We're facebook friends in real life
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
