I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
