some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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