On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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