i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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