party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
