I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
