I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
pray to the hookup gods
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
