its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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