question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
