So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
