I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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