Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
