Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
