you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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