I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
