The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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