I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
