No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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