You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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