If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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