dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
