Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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