Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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