There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ketchup is God's man juice
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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