When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
