You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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