Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
