Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
