My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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