yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
one might say we're banned from that church
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
